he loves me

last night, i may or may not have had a melt down. so today, my wonderful husband came home on his lunch break and brought me this beauty.

if you can't tell it's an amazing chocolate cupcake from sara sara bakery.
delicious. i couldn't even finish it.
yep. he loves me.

motivation

i feel like if i had these shoes, i would be more motivated to work out.
yeah...i'll go with that.

(sounds like a real reason to buy shoes right? i think so too)

the perfect equation

so i'm not a math teacher, but i do know that

this...
plus this...
plus this...

equals this...
yes i realize that i'm drinking coffee in the middle of the afternoon. it's not really because i need it, (although waking up three times a night every night is tiring) but more because i just LOVE it. it's something i'm trying to enjoy thoroughly before i begin my much needed diet and exercise program. that's right folks, for the first time ever i'm going to get into a workout routine. my personal trainer (aka my dad) is putting together a workout for me to start on and i couldn't be more excited!
crazy? maybe.

different

well we've been home with rylee now for a week and a half. this is my first week to be home alone with both kids and so far so good. nobody has died so that's a plus. actually it's been much easier than i had expected it to be. rylee is such a good baby. she really never gets upset and she sleeps alot right now, so that makes things a little easier. it's such a crazy feeling having two kids and knowing that i don't plan to have anymore. having a little girl is so different from having a baby boy. i feel so much more protective toward her already. it may be because she is so much smaller than corb was or it may just be that she seems so much more fragile than corb was. i don't know. but i do know that there is nothing like having a brand new baby girl and a now 3 year old self-proclaimed "big boy". i am so exhausted, but i love every minute of it.
if you had asked me when i was 18 what i would be doing at 24 years old, i would have probably told you that i would be married and working and probably thinking about buying a house. i might have even told you that i would be thinking about having my first child. but i know that i never would have told you that i would be a married mother of two with a college degree and a house in oklahoma city. it's so weird how we all try to plan out our futures and we think we know exactly where we are going to be (or hope to be) by the time we are 2o, 25, 30, but how often does life work out like that? while i never would have guessed i would be where i am by 24, i would not change a thing about my life. i have the most beautiful children and the most loving and supportive husband i could have ever asked for. i guess that just goes to show us that no matter how much we try to plan out our futures and take control of our lives, they really aren't our lives to take control of to begin with. God has had this plan for my life all along and i just thought i was in control. i'm okay with it though, because what God has had planned for me so far has been so much better than anything i could have planned for myself. my life is so far from perfect, but i love it because it's my life. thanks to all of you who are a part of my life and contribute to making it what it is.
and now for a couple of pictures of our latest family addition. isn't she just the cutest? i think so too.

here we go!

so i'm sure many of you have already heard, but "D- day" is tomorrow! that's right folks, this time tomorrow, i will be laying in a hospital bed wondering what in the world i was thinking. ok i'm kidding about the last part, but seriously our lives are about to change in a big way!
so i know my due date isn't until july 3rd, but my doctor graciously agreed to induce me a week early just because i am tired of being pregnant. i promise i didn't whine, it was the nurse's idea. she suggested it to me a week or so ago and i decided to take her up on the offer. i called yesterday to set up an induction, not expecting to get anything before the middle of next week, and she called me back saying saturday at 7:00! so that's that! at 7 in the morning, i will be induced and we will finally get to meet miss Rylee Abigail!
it's weird because even though i've done this whole giving birth thing before, i'm still nervous about it like i've never done it. i just have this overwhelming feeling of wanting her to be perfectly healthy in every way. i also get nervous at the thought of having two kiddos now instead of just one ornery almost 3 year old. i hope there's enough of me to go around! that's why i'm sooooo grateful for my amazing mom who has agreed to bear the burden of having a newborn around for a while at the house when we come home from the hospital. my mom stayed with us when we had Corban and i can't even say how helpful it was to have her around! this time, i think it will be even more helpful since i will be outnumbered by my kiddos once jarred goes back to work. my mom is the best, plus i'm glad we'll get some good mother/daughter time in before she goes on her crazy adventure to Israel.
so all in all, i'm super excited, nervous, a little scared, and filled with love and joy at the thought of bringing a baby girl into the world tomorrow. corban, on the other hand, not so excited... ha!
when he was told that he's going to have to share mommy when his new baby sister gets here, he said, and i quote, "NO! no sharing!" Lord help us...
prayers are appreciated for a safe delivery and healthy baby!...and sanity of course! it may be a while before my next post. i'm gonna be a little busy!

yep i'm still pregnant.

that's right.
no.
baby.
yet.

I'm beginning to wish that my doctor hadn't told me that she would be early. maybe he doesn't know me very well. see, i'm the type of person that gets my hopes up. yes, i know i technically still have 3 more weeks of pregnancy, but a 37 week birth sounds great right about now. impatient? yes i am.

i'm so done.

so here i am at 36 and a half weeks in my pregnancy and let me tell you that i can not wait to never do this again. i am so uncomfortable, and i feel like a house. frankly, i would not be surprised to give birth to triplets at this point...
just to illustrate how huge i am, here's me at the very beginning. oh if only i could look like this again...

and here is me now. yes i am huge.

and let me tell you something else. if it ever crosses your mind to tell a pregnant person how big they have gotten, don't. for the love of all that is good in the world, please refrain from making comments such as "you are getting so big!", or "you look like you are going to pop!". guess what...i am fully aware of just how big i'm getting and how close i am to "popping". i don't need a reminder. yes, i know that the growing baby inside of me is what is making me feel like i swallowed two watermelons, but the fact that i have to sit a foot away from the dining table to eat is not exactly a confidence booster.
in case you haven't noticed, i'm not one of those "i love every moment of pregnancy" people. i don't sit around and think about how "magical" pregnancy is. sorry. i know a lot of people out there love being pregnant. kudos to you. i'll let those people do all the baby having. as for me...i'm done!
sorry for the negativity, blame it on the hormones if you like.